By Justice Westmoreland & Teagan Taafe
11 April 2019
Every couple struggles through hardships in some capacity. Teagan and I decided to join premarital counseling this semester at SBU and it has changed our lives for the better. We did not have many relationship problems going into counseling, but we saw it as a way to strengthen our foundation. Through this, we hope to share our experience and encourage other young couples to look into premarital counseling.
Communication Skills
We have all heard that communication is essential for a relationship to grow and thrive. When you have good communication skills, you can work through problems efficiently. This is an area that Teagan and I have been working on strengthening. We have done this in counseling by using techniques that allow both of us to share our concerns and work on them together.
Working Together
A common problem that is faced by many couples is seeing the other person as the problem rather than the problem itself. In a relationship, a couple is a union of two individuals working towards a common goal. When you see the other person as the problem, you begin to fight your partner rather than fighting the problem together. An idea that is reinforced in premarital counseling is that you and your partner are a team. This is a great reminder when you are faced with a hardship.
Problem-Solving
It can be hard to work through problems when each individual has different ideas of what the solution should look like. Often, it can be easy to forget that our partner does not have the same perspective as we do. In premarital counseling, you are taught problem-solving techniques that allow each individual to brainstorm their thoughts and come to a mutual agreement. This begins to turn problems into minor inconveniences rather than life-altering issues.
A Safe Space
Sometimes it’s hard to express your true feelings to your partner in fear of judgement or upsetting them. Thankfully, counseling provides a space where what is said is only said to better understand your partner and improve your relationship. It is good to be evaluating your relationship and diving into problem areas if done correctly. The counselor often acts as a guide, prompting you and talking through things in order to delve into the underlying problems.
It is normal to be apprehensive about counseling. From our own experiences, however, counseling has provided many positive aspects and new directions to better our relationship. Whether you decide to go to premarital counseling because there are existing problems in your relationship or you are looking for something new to try, SBU provides wonderful counseling to couples.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Infuse Student Media or Southwest Baptist University.
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