By Blake Robinett
September 20, 2018
Parents are supposed to protect their children, to teach them, and to love them. However, what happens when that child becomes an adult? There comes a point in everyone’s life where they no longer need to rely on their parents for guidance. This may lead to disagreements between parent and child and potentially lead to a strained relationship. Parents must understand their children’s perspective as they transition into adulthood. These same new adults must understand that their parents are simply doing what seems to be best for their children. Establishing communication in this situation is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship. Overall, parents need to let their children figure out as much of the world on their own as possible. Children need to be willing to accept advice when needed.
Parents guide their kids through life, teaching them everything they can until the child can fend for themselves. However, sometimes as the child grows up, the line can become blurry between child and adult. It’s difficult to decide when one’s child is ready for the real world. Parents want to make sure their kids don’t make mistakes, and so they protect them. In a world with so many things to learn, how does one decide when to stop teaching them? It’s a difficult question for many, but all parents have to make. While parents want to help their children, this can come across as restrictive to the child.
Entering adulthood can be an amazing experience like getting your first car, going to parties, getting a job, and going to college. All of these things are parts of becoming an adult. These things come with many new freedoms. The last thing anyone wants are parents telling them what to do. It’s a difficult situation, being able to make your own decisions while still depending on parents for a place to sleep, food, and finances. It’s very awkward to be so close to totally free, yet still reliant on your parents.
This is completely natural for both parties. Parents cannot help but do what they think is best for their children. The new adult cannot help but resist their parents in an effort to figure things out for themselves. Families should discuss these issues in detail, establishing clear, reasonable rules and guidelines for the child. Kids should also request certain freedoms to be granted by the parents. Talking about these issues is the best way to relieve some strain from the relationship.
As a parent, sometimes the best thing to do when a child faces obstacles is to do nothing at all. If a toddler is about to pull on a dog’s tail, the first instinct of most people is likely to tell the child to stop. However, the best option may actually be to let the child learn for itself that a dog may bite back when its tail is pulled. The child will likely remember next time not to pull on a dog’s tail. The best learning comes from personal experience, specifically trial and error. The Emotion Machine describes this perfectly and in further detail. Even though it’s difficult, parents must let their kids figure out the world for themselves. Building a shield around a child works while they are young, but as they grow older, and that shield becomes increasingly difficult to maintain, they will inevitably be exposed to the world. If they already have that experience, they can easily apply it to the new world of adulthood they’ve discovered.
As a person, there will always be something new to learn. For kids and young adults, this is especially true. Becoming an adult is not an easy challenge. So many things to learn, new things to experience, and lots of people telling us what we can and can’t do. It can be overwhelming and very stressful, yet extremely exciting at the same time. It’s impossible to know everything there is to know about the world, so we must do our best to understand the parts we need to know in addition to the parts that interest us. Learning about a favorite hobby or developing a skill is just as important as learning how to drive or fill out a job application. It’s important to remember that we cannot know everything, and sometimes accepting help from others is the best plan. Learning when to accept help is a necessary skill for growing adults, as we all need help sometimes.
In conclusion, a perfect relationship between parents and their children is difficult, if not impossible. Therefore, it’s important for both sides to try and understand the other and discuss their differences. Parents need to understand they cannot protect their kids forever, and that the best way for them to learn life lessons is to experience them for themselves. Children need to remember that the world has many different challenges for them to face and that occasionally some good advice from parents can be helpful when overcoming them. Many millions of people have all been through the process of entering adulthood, and many millions more will continue the tradition. All parents face the challenges of raising a child to be ready for the world. Neither of these tasks will ever go away. However, we can attempt to learn from our predecessors, learning from the past to make these tasks easier than before.
References:
“The Necessary Pain of Trial-and-Error.” The Emotion Machine, 11 Feb. 2012, www.theemotionmachine.com/the-necessary-pain-of-trial-and-error/.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Infuse Student Media or Southwest Baptist University.
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